How to Respond When Loved Ones with Dementia are Confused

Author

VISITING ANGELS - EAST METRO MN

For more information about the author, click to view their website: Visiting Angels East Metro

Posted on

Mar 12, 2024

Book/Edition

Minnesota - Twin Cities Metro Area

Share This

How to Respond When Loved Ones with Dementia are Confused

If you have elderly loved ones with dementia, you most likely have witnessed their depressing battle with memory loss and other cognitive limitations. It can be heart-wrenching to hear them forget family members and friends, fail to recall recent events, or talk about deceased loved ones who they believe are alive.

You may be feeling helpless and dejected, but there are strategies you can use to reduce stress, circumvent confusion, and maintain a healthy relationship with your aging loved ones.

5 Ways to Deal with Dementia and Confusion

Dementia can cause your elderly loved ones to say outlandish things or become befuddled when out in public. You may shudder with embarrassment as they clumsily interact with neighbors, talk to store owners, or even chat with complete strangers.

Dealing with loved ones exhibiting dementia-related behavior, in private and public, can be disturbing. The following tips can help you manage difficult interactions caused by your senior’s illness:

·        Step into their reality

Seniors with dementia can find it hard to keep track of what is reality and what is memory or imagination. If you pull seniors with dementia into the “real world” by correcting them, you can sometimes cause more confusion, stress, fear, or even anger — which only worsens symptoms of dementia.

Experts recommend, whenever possible, that you affirm and join your loved one’s reality. If your senior occasionally speaks as though they are living in the past, keep the conversation going without correcting them as long as it is not causing them harm. For example, if your senior thinks it’s Saturday but it’s Wednesday, there is no need to correct them – just let it go.

·        Use distractions and diversions

Experts encourage using situational distractions to help people with dementia stay calm and avoid worsening symptoms. For example, if telling your senior you are taking them for a medical checkup causes distress, you may tell them, instead, that you are going on a trip to the park and will stop for a doctor’s appointment on your way back.

You may also choose to distract your senior from topics that cause stress or if you find they are stuck repeating themselves. Changing the subject to the weather or asking them to assist with a simple task can help diffuse the situation.

Some people may feel guilty about using therapeutic distractions or diversions, and that is perfectly normal. Just remember the goal is to make your loved one feel comfortable and find a balance that works for both of you.

·        Use brief explanations and gentle corrections

Sometimes, you may have to correct a confused senior. In situations like this, do so as gently and briefly as possible. Reduce confusion and other negative emotions by phrasing your corrections as suggestions. For example, you could say, “Why don’t we take a walk together?” instead of, “I can’t let you go out alone because you’ll get lost or fall.”

Be sure to use simple words and phrases that your loved one will recognize. Physical reminders, such as photographs, can also be helpful in gently reorienting a senior with dementia when necessary.

·        Respond to feelings, not words

Ask yourself what emotion might be behind your loved one’s words. If they are lashing out, perhaps it’s because they are afraid. In this case, you can reassure them that everything is okay, and perhaps offer them a hug or hold their hand. At all times, it’s important to respond calmly.

·        Take care of yourself

Although following these tips can help reduce stress for you and your senior, caring for a loved one with dementia can still be very demanding. Remember that taking care of yourself is important to avoid caregiver burnout. If you find yourself hurt by comments your senior has made, remind yourself they aren’t doing it on purpose.

If you need additional support in caring for your elderly loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, consider hiring a Visiting Angels caregiver. Our Visiting Angels care coordinators are available to discuss your loved one’s needs during a free care consultation.

 

Other Articles You May Like

Aging with Purpose: The Power of Meaningful Engagement with Society

As we all continue to age, the question of how to ensure a fulfilling and healthy life for older adults becomes increasingly important. Recent research, including a comprehensive analysis by the McKinsey Health Institute (MHI), underscores the pivotal role of societal engagement in promoting well-being in old age.The Foundation of Well-being: Good Relationships The cornerstone of a fulfilling old age lies in cultivating meaningful relationshipswith others and with society at large. The MHI survey of adults aged 55 and older across 21 countries affirmed this, with purpose in life and meaningful connections emerging as vital factors in promoting the health of older adults worldwide. Personal fulfillment and social bonds were frequently cited as key motivators for work or volunteering, underscoring the intrinsic value of engagement.The Health Dividends of Societal Engagement Engagement in societal activities emerges as a powerful catalyst for older-adult health. Those who participate experience a notable boost in overall perceived health, according to MHI survey data. This aligns with extensive academic research, revealing six key health benefits of societal participation: reduced mortality rates, decreased cognitive disability, lower functional disability and frailty, decreased loneliness and depression, increased physical activity, and heightened meaning and quality of life.The Harvard Study of Adult Development stands as a compelling testament to the pivotal role of relationships in healthy aging. Good relationships emerged as the strongest predictor of happiness and health in old age, affirming the profound impact of meaningful connections.Breaking Down Barriers to Participation Despite the evident benefits, numerous barriers hinder older adults from active engagement. Outdated beliefs regarding age, isolated efforts across sectors, inequitable access, gaps in structural support, limited data, and an under-researched landscape all contribute to this challenge. Addressing these barriers requires a fundamental shift in societal attitudes and infrastructure, extending across social, physical, and political realms.Societal participation holds the key to unlocking a vibrant, healthy future for older adults. By breaking down barriers, empowering older individuals, encouraging collaboration, and investing in support structures, we can pave the way for a more inclusive, engaged society. The collective effort of governments, employers, communities, and older adults themselves is essential in building a world where aging is synonymous with purpose, fulfillment, and vitality. Together, we can usher in a new era of healthy, purposeful aging for all.About the Author: Deb Taylor is the CEO of Senior Community Services, a local nonprofit with a mission to empower people as they age, through serving compassionately, connecting communities, and supporting independence.  

Planning for the Later Years: Senior Care Preparation

Every parent knows the urgency of waiting for the arrival of a newborn. They have nine months to plan and prepare. There are purchases to make: furniture, stroller, car seat, informational books, and such. Work plans and childcare often must be arranged. Significant planning goes into this important life event, but what about the other end of life, the later years?More than 90 percent of all moves to a senior living facility are driven by a crisis: a fall, reduced mobility, poor diet, cognitive challenges, and other illnesses. And families are often caught in the gap between an effective response and feeling ill-prepared. Unlike the blissful parents of newborns, the caregiver of an older adult may feel caught off-guard, stressed, and confused.Among Minnesota seniors still living independently in their own homes, over 90 percent of their care is handled by family and friends, often with little or no experience and understanding of whats required of a caregiver. Its the classic on-the-job training, with plenty of potential mistakes to be made without adequate preparation. While taking care of a loved one is a valuable and honorable role, it can be an overwhelming and exhausting responsibility without adequate support services.Thankfully, Minnesota families facing senior care decisions have helpful resources available. Experts are available to help you better understand the care needs and help you connect with the support thats right for your situation. Local nonprofit Senior Community Services www.seniorcommunity.org, is one such resource.The range of services includes assistance with resources, hourly consultation, family meetings, needs assessment of the senior, and caregiver coaching (similar to the format of life/career coaching). All of these services are designed to reduce caregiver stress and improve the caregivers ability to provide care longer, in a way thats healthier for them and the senior for whom they care.Studies have shown that services to support caregivers can allow them to delay nursing home placement for loved ones. This is so important because seniors prefer to live independently for as long as possible at their own homes in the communities they love. And, frankly, the cost of staying at home is usually much less than living in a more restrictive senior care community.Like planning for a newborn, getting the best information ahead of time when the situation starts to change can help avert a senior care crisis. If an older adult struggles with household chores, maintaining a nutritionally balanced diet, and making the best healthcare decisions, an effective care plan with the right support services eases many challenges in a respectful and dignified way. As the familys helping role increases, the appropriate caregiver services can better equip them to care for the older adult as well as for themselves.Just like arming parents-to-be with the resources they need to parent, we all benefit by taking care of the caregivers and ensuring support is in place for aging adults. Lets reimagine aging so that our community is as accommodating of the needs of seniors as it is for children. A place where walkers and wheelchairs are as welcome as bikes, strollers, and scooters. A community where all generations can enjoy the best of this time we call the later years, with less stress and more promise. Are you ready?About the Author:Deb Taylor is the CEO of Senior Community Services, a local nonprofit with a mission to empower people as they age, through serving compassionately, connecting communities, and supporting independence.

Why Elder Financial Abuse Goes Unreported

Elder financial abuse occurs when someone illegally or improperly appropriates money or belongings from an older person for their own personal use. While this financial exploitation takes many forms, including online scams, according to the National Adult Protective Services Association (NAPSA) the vast majority of reports involve perpetrators who are related to or in a trusting relationship with the victim.NAPSA reports financial abuse of elders is costing older Americans and their families billions every year, though occurrences are thought to be grossly underestimated, with only 1 in 44 elder financial abuse cases even reported. This suggests were only seeing the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the actual devastation older adults and their families are experiencing the wake of abuse. So why are the majority of cases going unreported? The abuser is a trusted family member or caregiver Even if the victim becomes aware of the abuse, choosing to pursue a case against a loved one may be an impossible and heartbreaking decision for many older adults, especially if they are dependent on the abuser in some way. Many abusers have provided some form of assistance or caregiving to the older adult and can convincingly argue they are owed compensation, while the truth is they have abused the victims trust for personal financial gain, with little regard for the victim. The abuse takes place little by little over time Financial abuse often occurs over months or years. It can be a slow, steady process of siphoning off small amounts at a time through check requests, bank withdrawals, wire transfers, recurring credit card payments, etc. The perpetrators are methodical and measured. They dont ask for or take amounts significant enough to trigger suspicion in financial institutions or be questioned by family members or friends of the victim. Unfortunately, by the time the abuse is discovered, there may be little chance of reversing the financial damage. Shame and fear As with many acts of abuse, the victim may feel a great deal of shame. If taken advantage of, older adults often worry that relatives will feel they can no longer take care of their own financial affairs. With financial exploitation there is often an illusion of consent on the part of the victim, but its propped up by manipulation, deception, or blatant misinformation. Despite this, the victim may fear they will be seen as mentally unfit for allowing themselves to be exploited and that reporting the abuse will lead to a loss of independence or autonomy. They dont know how or where to report the abuse to In the wake of a financial violation, finding resources can be an overwhelming task, further complicated by a lack of trust because of the abuse. But reporting financial abuse is imperative to gain knowledge of how abusers operate and to understand the full scope of the damage they cause in order to enact the measures necessary to break the cycle.If you think you or a loved one is a victim of elder financial abuse, contact these trusted organizations to find resources and file a report:justice.gov/elderjustice National Elder Fraud Hotline: 1-8333728311The Minnesota Adult Abuse Reporting Center 1-844-880-1574elderjusticemn.org 651-440-9312  

Local Services By This Author

Visiting Angels - East Metro

Home Health 2721 Upper Afton Rd E, Saint Paul, Minnesota, 55119

We Are Visiting Angels Twin Cities East MetroSince 2009, our Visiting Angels franchise has specialized in home care services to meet the needs of seniors. We believe in our 3 core values to be the most RELIABLE, the most RESPONSIVE, and the most TRUSTWORHTY homecare agency in the Twin Cities East Metro.  We are licensed by the State of Minnesota as a Comprehensive Home Care agency and provide services such as: Home ManagementCompanionshipPersonal CareDelegated Nursing Care Respite care End of Life Care and Coordination with HospiceWe provide R.N. designated services, such as compression stockings, TEDS, or ace wraps assistance; vitals monitoring & tracking; catheter care; nebulizer or oxygen therapy assistance; colostomy or wound care; mechanical lifts & special equipment; PT assistance; and medication management, set up, administration, and tracking.  We also provide specialized services, such as Alzheimers & Dementia, Hospice Coordination and Assistance & End-of-Life care.  We can provide services to adults of all ages from the comfort of their own home whether that be the clients apartment or private home; a hospital; or an assisted living, memory care, or independent living community. Even if your loved one lives with a chronic condition (arthritis, diabetes, osteoporosis, congestive heart failure, stroke, disability, or more), we can help. We Value our Relationship with YouAt Visiting Angels, we believe that being reliable, responsive, and trustworthy is key to a solid relationship. Whether you are the person in need of services or you are arranging services for a loved one, our relationship starts when you call us. We continue to build our relationship with you during our complimentary, no obligation introductory home visit. When youre ready to proceed, we will schedule a detailed clinical assessment, discussions with family members, and health care providers, when needed. Your care plan is customized to meet your needs and fit your schedule. We provide ongoing care management and regular communication with you. We provide service to the Twin Cities East Metro from our Maplewood, Minnesota office location.  Call us today at 651-653-0110 for a FREE IN-HOME CONSULTATION.  Visiting Angels2721 Upper Afton Road E.Maplewood, MN 55119651-653-0110

Visiting Angels - East Metro

Veteran Services 2721 Upper Afton Rd E, Saint Paul, Minnesota, 55119

We Are Visiting Angels Twin Cities East MetroSince 2009, our Visiting Angels franchise has specialized in home care services to meet the needs of seniors. We are licensed by the State of Minnesota as a Comprehensive Home Care agency and provide services such as: Home managementCompanionshipPersonal careRespite careR.N. designated services, such as compression stockings, TEDS, or ace wraps assistance; vitals monitoring & tracking; catheter care; nebulizer or oxygen therapy assistance; colostomy or wound care; mechanical lifts & special equipment; PT assistance; and medication management, set up, administration, and tracking.  We also provide specialized services, such as Alzheimers & Dementia, Hospice Assistance & End-of-Life care.  We can provide services to adults of all ages from the comfort of their own home whether that be the clients apartment or private home; a hospital; or an assisted living, memory care, or independent living community. Even if your loved one lives with a chronic condition (arthritis, diabetes, osteoporosis, congestive heart failure, stroke, disability, or more), we can help. We Value our Relationship with YouAt Visiting Angels, we believe that being reliable, responsive, and trustworthy is key to a solid relationship. Whether you are the person in need of services or you are arranging services for a loved one, our relationship starts when you call us. We continue to build our relationship with you during our complimentary, no obligation introductory home visit. When youre ready to proceed, we will schedule a detailed clinical assessment, discussions with family members, and health care providers, when needed. Your care plan is customized to meet your needs and fit your schedule. We provide ongoing care management and regular communication with you. We provide service to the Twin Cities East Metro from our Maplewood, Minnesota office location.  Call us today at 651-653-0110 for a FREE IN-HOME CONSULTATION.  Visiting Angels2721 Upper Afton Road E.Maplewood, MN 55119651-653-0110

Visiting Angels - East Metro

Hospice 2721 Upper Afton Rd E, Saint Paul, Minnesota, 55119

We Are Visiting Angels Twin Cities East MetroSince 2009, our Visiting Angels franchise has specialized in home care services to meet the needs of seniors. We are licensed by the State of Minnesota as a Comprehensive Home Care agency and provide services such as: Home managementCompanionshipPersonal careRespite careR.N. designated services, such as compression stockings, TEDS, or ace wraps assistance; vitals monitoring & tracking; catheter care; nebulizer or oxygen therapy assistance; colostomy or wound care; mechanical lifts & special equipment; PT assistance; and medication management, set up, administration, and tracking.  We also provide specialized services, such as Alzheimers & Dementia, Hospice Assistance & End-of-Life care.  We can provide services to adults of all ages from the comfort of their own home whether that be the clients apartment or private home; a hospital; or an assisted living, memory care, or independent living community. Even if your loved one lives with a chronic condition (arthritis, diabetes, osteoporosis, congestive heart failure, stroke, disability, or more), we can help. We Value our Relationship with YouAt Visiting Angels, we believe that being reliable, responsive, and trustworthy is key to a solid relationship. Whether you are the person in need of services or you are arranging services for a loved one, our relationship starts when you call us. We continue to build our relationship with you during our complimentary, no obligation introductory home visit. When youre ready to proceed, we will schedule a detailed clinical assessment, discussions with family members, and health care providers, when needed. Your care plan is customized to meet your needs and fit your schedule. We provide ongoing care management and regular communication with you. We provide service to the Twin Cities East Metro from our Maplewood, Minnesota office location.  Call us today at 651-653-0110 for a FREE IN-HOME CONSULTATION.  Visiting Angels2721 Upper Afton Road E.Maplewood, MN 55119651-653-0110