Navigating Grief This Holiday
Longwood At Oakmont, a Presbyterian SeniorCare Network Community
Dec 21, 2022
Pennsylvania - Greater Pittsburgh Area
For many of us, the holiday season is a joyful time. It’s a rare chance to get away from the hustle and bustle of daily life and spend quality time with our loved ones. But for those dealing with the loss of someone close to them, the holidays can be an especially challenging period. “Society tends to put a clock on grief,” says Pastor Gary Gibson, Director of Spiritual Care and Chaplain at Presbyterian SeniorCare Network. “Everyone goes through this process very, very differently. We must be respectful of that.” If you or someone close to you is dealing with loss this time of year, it’s important to know that the most wonderful time of the year doesn’t need to be the most difficult.
Below are five tips Pastor Gary recommends to people struggling with grief over the holidays.
1. Set realistic expectations for yourself
The holidays can be a stressful time for everyone, but they can be especially anxiety-inducing for someone dealing with loss. “It’s important to be honest with yourself about what you’re capable of doing this time of year,” Pastor Gary says. “We shouldn’t let other people determine what we should and should not do.”
2. Surround yourself with people who love and support you
This holiday season, evaluate your family’s understanding of where you are in your journey. Keep in mind that while your friends and family may not always know the right thing to say or the best way to comfort you, they are in your corner and want to help.
3. Don’t ignore your holiday traditions
While the temptation might be there, try to do everything you can to avoid canceling your holiday plans and traditions. “People will tell me they don’t want to put up the tree or hang lights outside,” Pastor Gary says. “But for most people, the person they lost loved the holidays just as much as they did. It’s important to still honor their memory.”
4. Volunteer
Whether it’s with a local food pantry, hospital, women’s shelter or The Salvation Army, helping others is a surefire way to feel better during the holidays. While the first day or two may be difficult, once you volunteer a few times, you may find yourself going back every chance you get.
5. Small progress is still progress
It could be hearing the person’s favorite Christmas song on the radio or going to a coffee shop alone, but every person who has lost a loved one deals with triggers this time of year. The important thing is to not let it prevent you from making progress each day. “Maybe the next time you go to the coffee shop, sit down and hang out for 10 or 15 minutes,” Pastor Gary says. “You may be surprised at who you might meet.”
Grief during the holidays is a battle, but with a positive mindset and the support of those around you, there is always hope. “You can do it,” Pastor Gary says. “You just need to continue to encourage yourself to put one foot in front of the other.”
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