Communication can be challenging when talking to a loved one with dementia. How you communicate with your loved one is very important, the goal being to confuse them as little as possible. Here are a few things to keep in mind when talking to your loved one with dementia.Phrases to avoidMany phrases are used frequently in our day-to-day conversations that we may not think are harmful but can be challenging for those with dementia. For example, the phrase "Do you remember" can lead to embarrassment. Your senior doesn't want to tell you they have forgotten a memory, especially a meaningful one. Asking a senior with dementia if they remember something will bring more sadness to their insecurity about having dementia. Instead, use the phrase "I remember when" to avoid putting pressure on your senior by not asking them a question directly about memory.Another phrase to avoid, "As I already said" When talking to someone with dementia, you will often repeat yourself, but you don't want your senior to feel embarrassed, and you don't want them to know you have repeated yourself already. Other phrases like "I already told you" only reminds your senior of their struggle. Instead of saying those phrases, kindly repeat yourself.Be directYou don't want to be too vague, so it is important to be specific with your words. For example, avoid using general pronouns like he, she, or they or vague terms such as that and those. Instead, be specific and say, "Jack bought a car," and "the spoon is under the napkin on the counter." Dementia makes it difficult for seniors to follow conversations like they once did, so it is key to use short sentences, speak clearly, and give them your full attention.Don't offer too much helpSeniors want to feel independent. We understand that you want to help your loved one as much as possible. Find that even balance of helping your senior and knowing when it's too much help. We don't want our seniors to feel like they are no longer competent.At The Legacy: Memory Support, our care for seniors with dementia is unmatched. Schedule a tour to learn more about all the different memory care activities we provide for our amazing residents.

WOW (Widows or Widowers) was founded by Dolores Bonfield Cortis in May, 1975. Dolores was widowed at the young age of 38. She joined Parents Without Partners in the area where she resided. The group was made up of recently divorced people. Being a grieving widow with young children who also were dealing with their sorrow, is not the same as a divorced parent.Through Parents without Partners, she met other newly widowed men and women. They formed the first WOW group in the Western Suburbs. It is a place to go for understanding, companionship, and to participate in social activates with like individuals. The idea was and is that Step we need to take to get back to living a normal life without the one we loved. To give us the understanding that although we are now widowed, we can resume life with all others and feel accepted as a new person.After 43 years, we now have a membership of over 185 members. Our membership has gone up and down over the years for a variety of reasons death or members that have moved to retirement areas around the country. But we have remained consistent in our zeal to prosper, and we have 43 years to prove that!We publish a monthly News Letter that lists our social activities and support meetings. WOW continues to offer support, friendship, education and social activities to the widowed people in the western suburbs of Chicago. A monthly Social Gathering is held at the Knights of Columbus Hall, 537 South York Road, In Elmhurst, IL. At 7:00 pm on the third Thursday of each month. Feel free to join us at our monthly meeting. We welcome guests of all ages!For additional information, check out our website at (www.wow.cfsites.org) or contact Dave Spero, WOW President at (630-620-4060).

For decades researchers have tried to figure out on a global scale why more people die in January than any other month of the year?Known by statisticians as excess deaths it appears to have nothing to do with weather. The spike in deaths is as true in tropical areas as it is in the snow shoveling northern parts of the United States. This also eliminates the theory that staying inside because of the cold weather spreads more germs and results in a higher January death rate. They also eliminated the connection on a socio-economic basis as the reaper makes no distinction between affluence and poverty when it comes to the end of life. The final myth is that the bump in deaths is due to people being sent home from the hospital too early just for the sake of the holidays.The data shows that hospitals are actually a dangerous place and you are more likely to die there then at home. Since it is so confusing I went to some online apps that offer to predict your day of death. I asked three of them to consider my chances: The Death Clock, Lifespan Calculator, and Fateful Day, to give me their best shot. Death Clock.com asked my gender, if I smoked, my outlook on life and how many alcoholic drinks I had each week. It reported that Wednesday, July 2, 2031 will be my last day on earth and a countdown clock was clicking away toward a ripe age of 88. Lifespan Calculator.com, provided by an insurance company, resulted in an age rather than a date. Turns out I will live to the age of 91. But wait theres more. I could pick up two more years by dropping 15 pounds or getting 4 inches taller. And finally, I turned to FatefulDay.com. It was fairly easy and after entering all my information, it returned with this ominous message: You have 0 years left to live. The site predicted I died in 2016, which was oddly enough the year of my heart attack. Life is a mystery even in death. So live, laugh and love!Editors Note: This article was submitted by Barry Kolanowski. Barry is the Executive Director of Senior Services of Will County and may be reached at 815-723-9713 or by email at bkolanowski@agingspecialists.org.